5. Paul's Epistle to the New Confederacy (Pt. 5) The Devil is Pissing His Pants
- Hardly a Saint, Paul
- Mar 25, 2020
- 2 min read
NOTE:
IF YOU ARE A WHITE PERSON
YOU CANNOT READ THIS (OUT LOUD)
PLEASE HAVE AN AFRICAN AMERICAN PERSON READ THIS (OUT LOUD).
IF YOU ARE NOT AN AFRICAN AMERICAN PERSON,
YOU CANNOT READ THIS (OUT LOUD)!
The New Confederacy has risen!
Praise Jesus
And
Donald Trump!
Can I get an Amen?
(When do we get to start calling them n*ggers again?)
(When did it stop?)
The spirit has grabbed this country’s guts and the Angry Oppressed White Man (AOWM) has thrown his heart-diseased, opiate-addicted, comb-overed, conspiracy-clinging, two-syllable-processing-ability onto the pyre of a national altar call; the flames of faith purifying the writhing acolytes.
Our oceans are dying. Poisoned with plastic and acidified by carbon dioxide. Glacier National Park doesn’t have Glaciers. Let’s name it after Trump. Trump Park - Where Things Used to Be Nice. The collective voice of Eminent Science is selectively ignored. They are told: you can invent things for us to buy, and cure my prostate cancer, BUT SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH ALL OF THIS DYING PLANET SHIT! Fox News says you’re wrong, and those people have really good teeth! (Not to mention the Foxy women! Woo hoo!)
I won’t go see my old, dying relatives in Texas because they like Trump. I have abandoned the family of my mother because they see merit in a philandering conman. I have abandoned the family of my mother because of the gagging hypocrisy: if Obama had done any of what Trump has done, my relatives would have cried tyranny! Lynch him! But, for Trump, a different set of rules. I have abandoned the family of my mother because they have no room for liberal thoughts in the cramped conservative corners they hide in.
The sky weeps acid and dead birds. The ice that keeps the planet from going thermal is melting. The oceans and trees that give us oxygen are turning into vinegar and smoke. People kill people because they can. How many yachts does an oligarch need? I have abandoned the family of my mother.
And the devil is pissing his pants.
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